mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
