He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
