How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
