so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
