Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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