I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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