I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
