it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize