can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
