I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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