At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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