Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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