Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
