we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
