I cockslap morals
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
