Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
