u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
