TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize