Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
