u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
