yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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