Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize