he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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