He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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