PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
even my farts smell like vagina
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
