if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He uses pillows to masturbate.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
