Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
