I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
