Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
