Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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