I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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