Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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