remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
