Define "chronic" masturbator.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
