it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i drank out of a bidet.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
