Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
