There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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