My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
