I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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