I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
