if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
