Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Randomize
