I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
