girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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