i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Randomize
