the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
