It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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