My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
