Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
