So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
