1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
