if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
