she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Bring me that man meat
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
