Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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