garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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