he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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